Crazy Job Ad

Jeremy found this job ad online. Pretty sure it's fake but rather funny. And I'm pretty sure they're not a native English speaker either. :)

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ARE YOU A NASTY LAWYER WITH A NO HARD BARD MEAN STREAK>? WE ARE IN SEARCH FOR LAWYERS/SOLICITORS WITH A TOTAL DIFFRENCE FOR PERSONAL PEOPLE ( PRIVATE )GOLD COAST BRISBANE, AT THIS TIME. SUCH AS A VERY TOUGH AND AS HARD AS NAILS SAVVVY LAWYER >?

THAT NO LAW FIRM HAS AFTER YEARS OF SEARCHING LAWYERS IN MANY AREAS OF VARIOUS LAW . BUT THEY MUST BE UNDERGROUND>? AND ARE NOT THERE TO BE YOUR FRIEND SOFT TYPE OF LAWYER .YOU MUST BE STILL OF COURSE BE WITHIN THE LAW . ( WE ARE NOT A LAW FIRM YET ) OR PRACTICE) THESE POSITIONS ARE A NEW PROJECT TO9 US AND 100s OF OTHERS AND IS ON CALL/CONTRACT BASIS WHEN NEEDED SIMILER TO INHOUSE BUT TO WORK OUT OF YOUR OWN PREMISES HOME OFFICE .MOBILE POSITION.BUT MUST HAVE THE RESOURCES. WITH LEGAL PROBLEMS IN VARIOUS AREAS OF LAW, SUCH AS FOLLOWS

1 CRIMINAL LAW,

2 LITIGATION,

3 COURT MATTERS CIVAL MATTERS& CRIMINAL

4 PROVIDE LEGAL ADVISE/ AND TIME.

5 EMPLOYMENT LAW.UNFAIR DISMISSELL

6 MONEY OWED TO PEOPLE. FRAUDULANT MATTERS ETC,

7 COMPLAINTS VARIOUS TO BE ADVISED.

8 MEDIA COVERAGE,PUBLIC AWARENESS DISPLAYS

9 STALKING LAWS INCLUDEING SMS WILLFUL DAMAGE MINOR MATTERS . PERSONAL DISPUTES PERSONAL AND BUSINESS LEGAL ADVISE.

PSYCHOLOGICAL SUFFERING/MENTAL ANGUISH AND DAMAGES. investigations INTO MISCONDUCT .LIST GOES ON...

YOU WILL BE REQUIRED TO ACT ON OUR BEHALF AND OTHERS BEHALF AT TIMES. AND MUST BE ABLE TO REPRESENT PEOPLE IN ALL COURTS AND APPEAR! AND LISTEN FOR CIVAL AND CRIMINAL, PREPARING DOCUMENTS DRAFTING OF LETTERS INCLUDEING LETTERS OF DEMAND!! TO ACT ON OUR INSTRUCTIONS DONT THINK ABOUT IT ( JUST DO IT DO IT !!!!) DONT GIVE UP DONT ROLL OVER AND LAY DOWN ATTIDUDE.WE HAVE SOURCED A HIGH NUMBER OF PEOPLE WANTING HELP THEY CANT GET OUT THERE BECAUSE THEY WANT WHAT THIS ADVERT DESCRIBES .JUSTICE!!!NOT JUST IN CRIMINAL.

FLEXIBLE HOURS TO SUIT ,IF YOU CAN HELP PLEASE EMAIL OR CALL/SMS AND WE WILL GET BACK TO YOU ASAP THIS IS A GENUINE ADVERT AND THERE ARE URGENT MATTERS IN NEED OF LEGAL HELP. WE CAN THEN EMAIL YOU A BRIEF OF WHAT THIS POSITION INVOLVES AND ANSWER I,M SURE QUESTIONS YOU WILL HAVE >? BUT NO TIME WASTERS PLEASE!! EMAIL ABOUT YOUR YOURSELF PLEASE,

PHONE/SMS ANDREW CHRISTO OR DAMIAN DRAGON

0412 491 475

0400 019595

OR EMAIL DRAGONLAIR73@yahoo.com.au